Is It Angst?

Is it Angst? *

Is it angst when I am actually looking forward to the cuckolding experience?
This is unique to the individual for sure, but I myself would have to say yes. However, for me (now) it doesn’t hold any negative connotation.
For me, there are many aspects of the experience that reverberate the very strings of my soul as it unfolds each time.
In the beginning it was a brutal cacophony of discordant emotions as harsh reality slammed mercilessly into the foggy haze of something long anticipated but in my naivety not yet understood. The resulting and unexpected awakening of the ugly beast that lurks within us all, known as jealous insecurity, almost derailed our foray into the lifestyle before it had barely begun.
I wanted him to kiss her, I was angry that she kissed him back.
I wanted him to fuck her, I was hurt that she enjoyed it so much when he did.
I wanted him to take her away to somewhere she’d never been, I was crushed when I was left behind (if only for moments at a time)

Luckily for me, I have been blessed with an amazing woman to share this journey with. With her patient love and understanding the music changed. The harsh sounds were muted. The chaos was tamed. The thuggish paws of jealousy twanging like a simpleton on those strings morphed into dexterous digits delicately plucking each note in glorious syncopation with the rhythm of lust we both yearned to dance to.
The angst remains but now it is a beautiful thing.
When he kisses her, I want her to kiss him back like he’s never been kissed before.
When he fucks her, I yearn for her to let herself go and make primal noises that I could never elicit from her.
When he takes her away, I smile with joy, wishing her bon voyage on her trip around the world.

I crave the angst but now savor it like a fine wine, whereas I once gulped it down like a drunkard does cheap ale, oblivious to all the delightful undertones that are there waiting to be explored.
For me the angst is like Her finger nails lightly brushing over my naked skin, sending delicious shivers down my back. Those finger nails could draw blood, could exact pain but instead they deliver pleasure. I have learned to trust, to close my eyes and let go, and know that She will never hurt me and in doing so, let the music carry me away.

Angst can mean many things, but in the hands of a skillful cuckoldress, it is an elixir of love.

*From a reply I made to a post on ChastityMansion (modified).

“Why do you?”

“Why do you kneel and rub her feet?” The man’s muscles rippled beneath his skin tight shirt and casual diner jacket, the disapproval evident on his not unattractive chiseled face. The dance music pounded a relentless beat as the lights of ‘The Club’ flickered around and over us.

I could see the movement of others fucking all around me, but didn’t focus on that. I focused on Her. It was all about Her.

“Because it brings Her pleasure.” I took a brief moment to look at him, to make my point clear. I was nobodies slave, yet I was, in truth, Hers, albeit willingly.
He shrugged and walked away.

She looked at me. “Yep.”
Returning her gaze, but with even more apathy, “Yep.”

I once again gazed lovingly upon her soles and nibbled on her toes in a moment of joyful weakness.
Giggling, she gently slapped her hand over the top of my head, pillowing her fingers into my hair and then gripped my head tight, pulling my face upwards between her legs.
“Fuck talking about it, show me you know what I need…”

Are You Ready? (For Locktober)

Chances are if you are a chastity enthusiast that you are well aware of the fact that Locktober draws nigh. In celebration of this momentous occasion I thought I’d dust off and revamp a fun little scene I wrote some time ago.

To those embarking on this months challenge I offer my heartfelt encouragement and empathy, as I will be right there in the trenches with you!

Are You Ready?

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” she asked, her finger swirling circles through the pre-cum dripping out of and pooling on the head of his rigid cock.

Balls distended, engorged shaft swelling against the limits of it’s own dimensions, it sensed imminent peril and reached for the heavens in a desperate attempt at escape.

It was too late. The steel ring already encircling it was a trap in and of itself. The blood pumped in with relentless surety, as was his desire to experience chastity. The ring however was a one way street, and that which went freely in, would not so freely be allowed out.

Of course In his naivety, he was blind to all but that which was Her.

He closed his eyes and thrust his hips into the air frantically chasing further pressure from her touch. A primal moan rose from within him, borne upon eons of evolution. It cried out an ancient plea for what every fiber of his being wanted more of as her finger danced away from him. A solitary strand of need glistened as it strove to maintain the connection between his cock and her magical touch. It grew thinner, the light cascading down it’s slippery surface like tears of frustration, until at last the connection broke. No amount of wistful yearning was strong enough to overcome that which was no longer meant to be.

“Yes…yes!” He hissed, beside himself. He just wanted relief, his addled brain confusing her question with what her teasing finger promised.

“OK, just remember, you asked for this.” She smiled and leaned in, her hair falling around his face and tickling his skin in a million places at once. Her lips brushed over his, soft and warm, in direct contrast to the cold steel cage now pressed over his manhood.

His body tensed and he breathed rapidly, becoming unsure as to how he was going to be able to go through with this. His fantasy, so long a secret, then shared, then mutually agreed upon, was in direct contrast to what his body was demanding.

“Shh, just lay with me, just relax.” She murmured to him, quieting him as she lay her head down onto his chest.

The sounds of the street below drifted into the small apartment, muted yet loud when contrasted with the silence of the bedroom within. He hadn’t thought it was possible to love someone any more than he already did, until he had dared express his desire to submit to Her control, and she’d told him that she had always felt like she should be in control. They were just starting out and didn’t have much, but they had love, they had honesty, and they had trust.

The smell of her hair wafted into his nostrils, and the heat from her embrace seeped into his soul, soothing him. His lustful heart beat in tumultuous discordance to hers, a steady drum of reassurance, until at last they beat as one. His breathing gradually slowed and along with it he softened. He finally relaxed, loosing himself in her presence and was startled at the sudden oppressive pressure upon his shaft.

His eyes flew open as he realized she’d adjusted her position and maneuvered the cage into place. A thousand panicked thoughts raced through his mind at once, all of them fighting to escape his lips and none of them succeeding.

No, I’ve changed my mind!

I want to fuck you senseless!

This was all crazy talk, I didn’t mean it!

For him though, like it or not, the time for talking was over. He felt her jostling things around down there and then she pushed up off him, turning to show him the key in her hand.

She smiled wickedly, her smoldering eyes aglow with mischievous fire. “I’m glad you were ready. I am too.”

New Release! Look At Me

Mark had a smile that could thaw the frostiest of women, his towering framed honed at the gym ensured that they’d feel small in his arms, and he was easy to talk to. He enjoyed their attention when he could get it, but with his ‘little issue’ he didn’t dare pursue anyone.
Miranda was as ruthless as she was beautiful. She’d been trying to live a simple life, one that all the vanilla women seemed to enjoy, but a leopard can’t change its spots…
When their paths cross a destiny is set in motion that neither will be able to resist. You can’t fight who you are.
You don’t have to be lacking ‘down there’ for book three of the B.R. Saiph SPH Collection to resonate with you. If you’ve ever succumbed to the sirens call of submission to a strong woman, then these words will feel like home.
You think you know what women want, but in this sizzling short story you might just be surprised at what a woman will decide to take.
A short story by B.R. Saiph


New Release! Ordering Out: Money Can’t Buy Everything

Frank’s a good looking big guy. Big in all ways, except one.
It’s always been his ‘little’ secret and he’s tired of it holding him back.
He’s worked hard, saved even harder and tonight he’s determined to make himself into a new man.
Heather just isn’t any woman, she’s as classy as they come. A woman like her is accustomed to powerful men with big wallets, big egos, and all that comes with it.
Frank sets himself onto a collision course with Heather, and only one of them will end up on top.
It’s a tough lesson to learn, but money can’t buy you everything.
Book two of the B.R. Saiph SPH Collection will resonate with all the guys lacking ‘down there’. You know what women want, and in this sizzling short story your greatest fear will come true.
A short story by B.R. Saiph



I crashed hard overnight.
“What could this guy possibly be going on about?” you say with incredulous exasperation.
“He’s locked down hard, he’s cuckolded, he gets fucking corner time for cryin’ out loud. What’s the problem?!”
You know, it doesn’t really matter, what matters is how my amazing ‘S’ handled it, and me.
And this is what separates the wannabes from the masters of the art of the human dynamic.
She gave me space, then she knew, she knew when to move in. The physical touch, the mental caress of her voice, the surety of her love for me and all that is US.
When we were done, the things said and the tears shed, the intimacy rejoiced and the spent satisfaction afterwards, I was left breathless.
Not in exhaustion, though it had been physically demanding, no it was in wonder, pure friggin’ wonder at this woman who knows me more than I know myself, and who time and again shows me what true love is.
The lifestyle has much to offer, and I’ve never felt more alive, but it can never be ‘Set It And Forget It’.
You’re living on the edge is some ways, and it’s exhilarating beyond belief, and I’ve no regrets, but it’s intense at times. Only a skillful woman can successfully help her man be all that he can be for Her.

New Release! Game Night: Where Cuckolds Never Score

Kate loves Jeff but he has a little problem that’s leaving her looking for more, a lot more.
When Nikki and her boyfriend Max come over to watch the game, all the rules get broken and Jeff learns he doesn’t have what it takes to score.
A mean girl knows just how to make that small penis humiliation sting. When she includes denial and cuckolding her words will eviscerate even the most self-confident of men.
This story will resonate with all the guys lacking ‘down there’. You know what women want, and in this sizzling short story they won’t be denied.
A short story by B.R. Saiph


The Panic

Those that know me as BR Saiph are aware that I live a life of a locked cuckold to my very controlling (and a little dominant) amazing and beautiful wife @MrsBr_Saiph.

Perhaps you’ve read one of my books, or my posts, or followed my journey on Regardless, it may come as a surprise to you and even a disappointment if you’ve vicariously enjoyed my tales, that two months ago it all came to a hard (no pun) stop.

For the last two months I’ve been unlocked, non-dominated, uncontrolled, felt no submissive urges, been very alpha, and sexually independent with my own orgasms (with my hand and with my darling wife). So in other words, pretty much lived a vanilla life.

Why, you exclaim in horror, would you do this when you yourself sought this lifestyle for so long?

Truth is, being a cuckold is at times fraught with challenges, both personal and in the relationship dynamic. In my case, I went off the rails suddenly and with no warning and crashed into a wall of insecurity and resulting self-pity. My darling S. had done nothing wrong, we weren’t even actively engaging with a bull (thanks pandemic). Ask any cuckold, that’s just how it goes. One day you’re good, one day you crash hard.

Long story short, my cuckoldress stopped all kink and propelled us into vanilla. She picked me up, and made me whole again in both mind and spirit. A healthy cuckolding relationship means you always come first for each other. Did I mention how much I love this woman?

As that unfolded, I almost lost her in a head on collision with a drunk driving mother fucking ass wipe. Guess how I feel about shit heads who drink and drive? Anyway, back to sexy talk!

A long month of recovery for her and things were starting to look more normal in so many way and then we received an invitation from a bull she’d been chatting with, to something called a fuckfest. Maybe I’ll post about that someday with all the incredible details. Point being, my incredible cuckoldress wanted to gift me a full hall pass this one night. It was part of the ‘building me back up’ process. Did I mention how much I love this woman?

Long story short, it was the icing on the cake and I was indeed a new man the next day. It was unimaginably difficult for her to watch me with another. She is not a cuck remember? She is a cuckoldress. She never wanted to swing, never wanted to see me with another, and only entered the lifestyle because we agreed she would play with others, not me. However, her love and concern for my fragile male ego made her overcome her pain and give me this gift of sexual liberty for one incredible night of debauchery.

That is selfless love, and I will be forever grateful and forever aware of the sacrifice she made for me.

Of course, nothing is free my friends and when the party is over, the party is over. So it was with her usual cold calculating no-nonsense tone that she announced to me yesterday that my freedom was over. She had decided I needed to be locked up and put back down into my place because the shenanigans had gone on long enough.

“You’re all better. This is for the best. You’ll see.” she said. It wasn’t a question.

So last night the cage went back on, and the panic set it instantly. Isn’t it funny how the mind and body can forget so quickly what the soul knows intimately.

“The ring is too tight, I can’t get my balls into that!”

“You’ll be fine.”

“Baby, this cage is too small, my cock has re-grown too much!”

“You’ll be fine.”

“Can’t we wait until the weekend?”

“Don’t make me say it again.”

And so, my life as a red-blooded, orgy-fucking, do what I want with my own cock independent thinking man came to an end.

Today, the panic is even more intense. I think about how I can’t get an erection or grasp that erection tightly in my fist simply because I want to. I must now ask for Her permission. She will decide when or even if I am allowed any physical pleasure with Her cock. PIV will again be a treasured reward, and orgasms even rarer.

After 28 years of happy faithful monogamy, I was granted a taste of the sexual freedom that she so readily enjoys whenever she wants, and now I must accept that it was only that, a taste. Sexual freedom is not for me, I am Her submissive, I am Her cuck, and I must again submit to Her will and control over my body and in many ways my mind.

I no longer have the control over my own most prized possession that I had just a mere day ago and now have lost.

Again I will look at women and wonder what would they think of me if they knew I had allowed my cock to be locked in a cage.

Again I must sit to pee, every time.

Again I must look down at my crotch and wonder what it feels like to have an erection simply because I want to.

I sought this lifestyle desperately for years. I asked for this, even so much as begged for it in so many ways. I yearn for it when not locked and indeed despite my complaints, the cage felt like an old friend once it was back on.

My body rails against the steel injustice it must now submit to.

My mind struggles with panicked thoughts of loss of free will, for you cannot fight the might of the key in a skillful woman’s hand.

The fear is real, the panic is real, the desire to be free again, just for a day, is real.

Yet, my soul is content. My heart is bursting with love. I know this is but a regular part of the roller coaster of being locked up after a period of release. I’ve been through it countless times. I must hold my breath and hang on, for it will pass.

The serenity will wash over me as I slip peacefully down the rabbit hole of submission my beautiful and incredible darling S. will guide me into with her deliciously naughty and skillful mind, and all will be right in my world.

All will be as it should be as I kneel before my goddess, my key holder and cuckoldress, and walk beside my lover and my best friend, my wife.

The panic is real, but don’t fear it. Embrace it, cherish it for all the kinky wonder that it represents, and thank the stars you have been blessed with a woman that is willing to live this life with you in a way that fulfills and brings joy to you both.

I’m living the life I’ve always dreamed of, and that my soul has yearned for. I’m where I belong and am blessed to be.

The panic is a beautiful thing.

Beware The Superfan

As an author, I take great pride in my work. Why wouldn’t I?
I spend countless hours thinking about my story, then many more writing it, and even more after that polishing it until it’s the very best I can offer.
Is her hair the color I want, or how about what she’s wearing in a particular scene? What sensual naughtiness do I fancy the characters doing as they excite, frustrate, seduce, and otherwise titillate the reader? Have I described the leather belt in her hand in such detail that the reader can intimately feel it’s unforgiving touch in their mind’s eye? Can they feel the panic as he does when she closes the lock on the shiny new cage she purchased just for him? Have I made their gut clench when she sleeps with the other man?

There are so many thoughts that go into a story I can’t begin to describe them, but if you’re an author, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
My point is, that most writers work hard to produce the best material they can because it’s a passion, and for the fortunate few, a full-time job.

After all we give of ourselves to create something, is it worth it? Only the reader can decide.

If we are lucky, we develop a fan base. If we are unlucky, we get the ‘superfan’.
They will at first compliment your work to lower your guard, then proceed to tell you how they would have written this scene or that one, or what the characters should have been wearing, or looked like, or done. They may tell you how you should write the sequel, because of course after all that feedback, you’re gonna want to do another, right?
Then, once you block them, they spew vile trash in a book review and drag your rating down.
If there is a bright side, at least in doing so they reveal to the world just how much of a nutter they are.

I work hard for a living. I have a family to care for, and a life to live. Somewhere in there, I find time to create something and then dare to share it.
What have you created and offered to the world dear superfan? May we see your work? May we comment on it as you have felt so entitled to do so with others?

Just kidding, I don’t care.
I don’t care what you have done with your life, I don’t care what you think about my work, and I certainly don’t care about you.
I’ll continue to write, to create, and in doing so I’ll contribute to the world around me because that’s who I am. I’m a writer.

What are you?

New Release! Fortnight: True Love Won’t Be Denied

Fortnight: True Love Won’t Be Denied
Matt was the guy everyone at the college wanted to be. He had rugged good looks, a devilish charm, and a new girl on the back of his motorcycle every time you saw him. His ego was as big as his reputation, and about the only thing keeping him in check was his best friend Clare.
He’d always been attracted to her stunning beauty and keen mind, but she’d been hurt before and he knew better than to risk their friendship.
That all changed the day he could no longer hold back but nothing is free, most certainly not her heart.
Self-discovery can be challenging enough, but with Covid-19 raging everywhere, this couple must find a way to navigate their new world and each other.
A tale of young love, trust, and self-exploration into the world of submission, dominance, and male chastity.
An Erotic Novel by B.R. Saiph