At times the denial threatens to overwhelm me, sucking the air literally from my lungs. I wake wanting to scream in raging frustration. I instead lay still and try to ride out the waves of alternating angry want and crushing euphoric acceptance of my submission to Her.

Loctober isn’t over yet and though I’ve seen the better part of it tick by one relentlessly locked day after another, the last stretch seems like a marathon.

I want the end NOW.

My foolish male pride DEMANDS it.

My true self ACCEPTS it.

I think I need to stop looking at the calendar and instead TRUST in Her.

@MrsBr_Saiph has got me, I just need to relax and enjoy the ride.

Don’t Rush It

Let’s not even talk about that working on my #wip has been impossible with my shoulder out of commission.

I f-cked it good last week burying my sweet pet. Not a good time.

Emotionally I’ve been drained and with being unlocked since Saturday, I’ve been a little head spun.

Am I crazy? Complete freedom and yet a little (or a lot) of muscle discomfort and a sad heart make for complete disinterest in being naughty with myself?

I feel passionately that first it’s a serious transgression to masturbate or enjoy any physical sexual pleasure without permission (not that I haven’t 😈),and second that if I can’t fully enjoy it, it’s damn near sacrilegious to devalue the opportunity.

That said, I’m feeling better both physically and emotionally and I’m coming around! I’m missing my characters and their journey.
I love living the story in my mind and feeling their emotions, and envisioning the people behind them. They are real, if I let go and let them be.

Letting the story out, in due time.

Resisting the urge to settle for what is essentially forced.

Allowing myself to self-indulge in the f’n amazing experience of being a writer.

Livin’ writing, livin’ ‘it’, well…Wow!


I think a lot of you kindred spirits that are into the hotwife/cuckold lifestyle or those enjoying the thought of it can relate to that I’ve struggled with being a cuck almost from the beginning of our adventure. Fantasy meets brick wall of reality.
As I hope is evident from a post I made on a popular chastity forum recently, regarding spending some time facing a wall, I have found a new place of happiness, tranquility of joy for that is what I felt.  Joy for Her, and all She was experiencing because she’s everything to me and she deserves no less.  Joy for Me (yes Capital because I’m so proud of myself!!), for being able to shuck those shackles of fragile male ego and embrace the unencumbered freedom of submitting to her pleasure.

Her whims.

Her joy.


Lets cover a couple basics that for me at least, and perhaps my bad, but they were not forefront on my mind when we started all this.
He is likely going to have a very large cock.  One that despite your best day, is gonna trump it every time.

He is going to be a champion of fucking. 

He can fuck your wife in front of you effortlessly and with extreme vigour while you watch. For a really long time (sometimes an obscenely, to me, long time) and cum wherever they agree, multiple times.

Take your best endurance time, and best performance, look at it one last time, then toss it out the window.  You won’t be needing that now.

You are going to see the woman you love, your lover, losing herself in anothers arms.  She will say things, and do oh so many naughty things, all while you watch.  Her choosing another.  While you remain locked.

When as a cuck, I finally let go of my negative insecurities that were holding me back, I reached something.  As I felt the welcoming embrace of my girl, sharing her moment of bull fucking pleasure with me, as I felt her loving me for sharing it with her, I felt complete.

For me, it’s been one hell of a head trip.  Big time at times.  Like train f’n wreck at times, but I think if both parties can communicate, and show empathy towards the others viewpoint and experience, it can work well.

Really well.

We’re so not done figuring this out,  nor ourselves.  I’m not sure that journey ever ends,  neither the pitfalls or joyous celebrations.  I only know that I’ve learned to be relaxed.

I want to be the cool guy at the party.

I want to have fun, and watch my Lady have the fucking time of her life.

Chasing The End

I find no matter my intentions when beginning a new story, invariably once I begin, I immediately start chasing the end.

I tell myself ‘This time it will be different, this time I will relax and just enjoy the story as it unfolds, no pressure.’

I’ve come to realize I’m a bit addicted to the emotional high of typing those two words. Even more so, the rush I get from publishing and then promoting the fact that I’ve actually achieved the end game is like emotional cocaine.

I now type those two words ‘The End’ at the start of each new story. I carriage return throughout, pushing them down and away as I go, but keeping them with me at all times.

It scratches the itch, removes the urge to type them because they are already there, and helps me focus on the writing journey, and savor it for the amazing experience it is.

New Intro For My Profile

Primal hunger and lust, need versus want, submission and control.

These are the thoughts that fill my days and haunt my sordid dreams at night.

She is the beautiful strong willed girl next door, and she is everywhere.

We need only open our eyes to see her.

At work, at play, out on the town, or at home in our own bed.

When I see her, I see male chastity, denial, cuckolding, and complete and total enslavement to her carnal pleasure.

I see many things, naughty and debaucherous, and would love to share them with you.

I hope you will join me to look at her through my eyes as I weave tales of love, newly discovered passion unleashed, and boundaries found then destroyed.

Join me as we discover together, how our lives are shaped by the love in our hearts and the demons between our legs.

Hotwife Holiday – 1rst Review

A reader posted a review, the first for HH, and I’d like to say ‘thank you’ !

It takes time, effort, and of course giving a hoot to write a review. I appreciate each and every one, positive or negative.

To all you readers out there that take the time to validate something I’ve worked so hard on, you inspire me to keep going.

How much?

What do we share? The telling of stories is cathartic but at what price?  How much of ourselves do we put out there in an effort to relieve the ‘pressure’, vs. allowing people a glimpse into our soul?



How can you write that which you do not know?

Post Release Drop

For those of you who publish, if you’re like me then the release day is a culmination of immense anticipation and ultimately pleasure.
The pleasure of watching it go live, the first sale, and if so very lucky, maybe a rating or review.
Now though it’s been a few days and I’m coming down.  Still riding the wave but starting to feel a bit sad, like we all do when something amazing is over.
I feel an emptiness, an aching for that experience which cannot be had because it is done.
I realized it was very much akin to ‘cum drop’, where post orgasm you experience regret that it’s over and don’t know when it will happen again.  Feeling a loss for all that you’d suffered so long for, gone faster than you can ever prepare yourself for.
Both are cruel reminders to enjoy and embrace the NOW!

Whatever your passion, live it, own it.

For myself, I’m going to relax and savor the release of Hotwife Holiday.  Every second of it, whilst awaiting the next tale to whisper terribly naughty things in my ear taunting me to engage it.