At times the denial threatens to overwhelm me, sucking the air literally from my lungs. I wake wanting to scream in raging frustration. I instead lay still and try to ride out the waves of alternating angry want and crushing euphoric acceptance of my submission to Her.

Loctober isn’t over yet and though I’ve seen the better part of it tick by one relentlessly locked day after another, the last stretch seems like a marathon.

I want the end NOW.

My foolish male pride DEMANDS it.

My true self ACCEPTS it.

I think I need to stop looking at the calendar and instead TRUST in Her.

@MrsBr_Saiph has got me, I just need to relax and enjoy the ride.

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