When I’m away without her for instance? Yes, of course. That hasn’t changed in all the years we’ve been together. What did change for me is how much I miss her in my daily life, after choosing chastity.
Choosing chastity, what, wait? How can that be a choice? Isn’t it supposed to be ‘forced’ on you by a dominant and cruel lover intent on enslaving you, and in some cases foregoing your locked dick in pursuit of new exciting ones? Yeah, well if you believe that, you can go back to wanking to chastity/cuckold porn and read no further.
The reality is, that chastity is a choice. It is a choice by you to fully and completely commit to the one you love in ways you cannot imagine before you close that lock. It is a choice by her to accept your commitment to her and all it entails, for you each must find your way in this for it to be both healthy and beneficial to your relationship.
The years-long journey to where we are today is a story unto itself and not for this short post, but I will say that choosing chastity forever changed my life and my relationship with the most important person in it, for the better.
That’s all fine and good, and you’ll read all of the above a thousand different ways from a thousand guys like me. However, if there is one aspect that I found to be most serendipitous, it would be the unrelenting desire to be with her, from the moment I leave her, every single time I do.
It’s not that I ever lost the excitement of seeing her at the end of every workday, or the desire to spend my free time with her. After all, loving and cherishing her has absolutely zero to do with chastity. What did change over time was those early days ‘firsts’. You know them, and they are intoxicating, and in all long-term relationships, they become elusive. That electric first touch as you hold hands, that quickening of your pulse as your eyes meet across a crowded room, the heat that sears your soul as she does nothing more than kiss your cheek.
It has no reflection on the love that is shared, it is simply human nature. It is why couples buy sex toys, and costumes for the bedroom, why they watch porn together (or alone), and why they often don’t feel ‘in the mood’. It just is. Chastity though, changed all of that for me.
At first, and for selfish reasons, I could think of little beyond when the cage would next come off, and when I could have sexual release and think straight once again. Though we were having more sex than ever before, as time went on we reached a point where I was no longer allowed ‘free play’. I experienced a profound acceptance that I no longer had control over my most basic of manly functions, and my thinking changed. Once I could see past my immediate selfish desires, I instead found greater pleasure in appreciating what was there all along. Her.
The ache in my loins never ceased, but being denied sexual release has forced my entire being to seek pleasure elsewhere. In the little things, in all that I once took for granted, and they all feel like ‘firsts’ every time. The once assumed touch of her hand, now sears my flesh in wanton response. Catching her eye across the room, both of us knowing I am thinking only of her, brings me joy and excites me because she accepts it and me. Where my response though heartfelt was automatic, my spine now melts as her warm moist breath whispers those three magic words ‘I love you’ in my ear.
I wait all day to come home and inhale her scent as I press my lips to the back of her neck as I say hello, and her presence completes me. I lightly touch her waist, her arm, kiss her cheek as I go by, for no reason other than showing her how much I love her, and her enjoying that completes me. I wait all evening for the moment we go to bed and I can press myself against her hot naked ass and feel the heat of her flesh burning into my caged need as we spoon, and though most nights it will not lead to anything more, she nonetheless completes me. I long for the weekend and lazy mornings with my face between her legs and rubbing lotion on her feet as she relaxes, and holding her trembling body as the Hitachi works its ‘magic’. I long for the still of the night, listening to her quiet breathing and feeling the gentle beating of her heart as I hold her tight and swear to all that is right and just in the world that I will never, ever, let her go or take one moment with her for granted again. In all things Her, she completes me.
So, do I miss Her? You’re damn right I do.