Is It Angst?

Is it Angst? *

Is it angst when I am actually looking forward to the cuckolding experience?
This is unique to the individual for sure, but I myself would have to say yes. However, for me (now) it doesn’t hold any negative connotation.
For me, there are many aspects of the experience that reverberate the very strings of my soul as it unfolds each time.
In the beginning it was a brutal cacophony of discordant emotions as harsh reality slammed mercilessly into the foggy haze of something long anticipated but in my naivety not yet understood. The resulting and unexpected awakening of the ugly beast that lurks within us all, known as jealous insecurity, almost derailed our foray into the lifestyle before it had barely begun.
I wanted him to kiss her, I was angry that she kissed him back.
I wanted him to fuck her, I was hurt that she enjoyed it so much when he did.
I wanted him to take her away to somewhere she’d never been, I was crushed when I was left behind (if only for moments at a time)

Luckily for me, I have been blessed with an amazing woman to share this journey with. With her patient love and understanding the music changed. The harsh sounds were muted. The chaos was tamed. The thuggish paws of jealousy twanging like a simpleton on those strings morphed into dexterous digits delicately plucking each note in glorious syncopation with the rhythm of lust we both yearned to dance to.
The angst remains but now it is a beautiful thing.
When he kisses her, I want her to kiss him back like he’s never been kissed before.
When he fucks her, I yearn for her to let herself go and make primal noises that I could never elicit from her.
When he takes her away, I smile with joy, wishing her bon voyage on her trip around the world.

I crave the angst but now savor it like a fine wine, whereas I once gulped it down like a drunkard does cheap ale, oblivious to all the delightful undertones that are there waiting to be explored.
For me the angst is like Her finger nails lightly brushing over my naked skin, sending delicious shivers down my back. Those finger nails could draw blood, could exact pain but instead they deliver pleasure. I have learned to trust, to close my eyes and let go, and know that She will never hurt me and in doing so, let the music carry me away.

Angst can mean many things, but in the hands of a skillful cuckoldress, it is an elixir of love.

https://mobile.twitter.com/MrsBr_Saiph


*From a reply I made to a post on ChastityMansion (modified).
https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/what-is-angst.43612/