Is It Angst?

Is it Angst? *

Is it angst when I am actually looking forward to the cuckolding experience?
This is unique to the individual for sure, but I myself would have to say yes. However, for me (now) it doesn’t hold any negative connotation.
For me, there are many aspects of the experience that reverberate the very strings of my soul as it unfolds each time.
In the beginning it was a brutal cacophony of discordant emotions as harsh reality slammed mercilessly into the foggy haze of something long anticipated but in my naivety not yet understood. The resulting and unexpected awakening of the ugly beast that lurks within us all, known as jealous insecurity, almost derailed our foray into the lifestyle before it had barely begun.
I wanted him to kiss her, I was angry that she kissed him back.
I wanted him to fuck her, I was hurt that she enjoyed it so much when he did.
I wanted him to take her away to somewhere she’d never been, I was crushed when I was left behind (if only for moments at a time)

Luckily for me, I have been blessed with an amazing woman to share this journey with. With her patient love and understanding the music changed. The harsh sounds were muted. The chaos was tamed. The thuggish paws of jealousy twanging like a simpleton on those strings morphed into dexterous digits delicately plucking each note in glorious syncopation with the rhythm of lust we both yearned to dance to.
The angst remains but now it is a beautiful thing.
When he kisses her, I want her to kiss him back like he’s never been kissed before.
When he fucks her, I yearn for her to let herself go and make primal noises that I could never elicit from her.
When he takes her away, I smile with joy, wishing her bon voyage on her trip around the world.

I crave the angst but now savor it like a fine wine, whereas I once gulped it down like a drunkard does cheap ale, oblivious to all the delightful undertones that are there waiting to be explored.
For me the angst is like Her finger nails lightly brushing over my naked skin, sending delicious shivers down my back. Those finger nails could draw blood, could exact pain but instead they deliver pleasure. I have learned to trust, to close my eyes and let go, and know that She will never hurt me and in doing so, let the music carry me away.

Angst can mean many things, but in the hands of a skillful cuckoldress, it is an elixir of love.

https://mobile.twitter.com/MrsBr_Saiph

*From a reply I made to a post on ChastityMansion (modified).
https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/what-is-angst.43612/

Crash

I crashed hard overnight.
“What could this guy possibly be going on about?” you say with incredulous exasperation.
“He’s locked down hard, he’s cuckolded, he gets fucking corner time for cryin’ out loud. What’s the problem?!”
You know, it doesn’t really matter, what matters is how my amazing ‘S’ handled it, and me.
And this is what separates the wannabes from the masters of the art of the human dynamic.
She gave me space, then she knew, she knew when to move in. The physical touch, the mental caress of her voice, the surety of her love for me and all that is US.
When we were done, the things said and the tears shed, the intimacy rejoiced and the spent satisfaction afterwards, I was left breathless.
Not in exhaustion, though it had been physically demanding, no it was in wonder, pure friggin’ wonder at this woman who knows me more than I know myself, and who time and again shows me what true love is.
The lifestyle has much to offer, and I’ve never felt more alive, but it can never be ‘Set It And Forget It’.
You’re living on the edge is some ways, and it’s exhilarating beyond belief, and I’ve no regrets, but it’s intense at times. Only a skillful woman can successfully help her man be all that he can be for Her.

“What are you afraid of?”

Warning, adult sexual content!

****************

“What are you afraid of?” she asks me.
“I’m not sure, I guess everything” I admit.
Her hand tightens on my shoulder as she leverages herself to push the plug all the way in.
I grunt and relax slightly as I realize the worst of it is over.
Her breath is hot on the back of my neck and her lips tease my ears. “Do you trust me?”
I don’t hesitate. The bathroom mirror is directly in front of me and I nod as my eyes lock on hers.
She smiles and I turn, taking her in my arms.
All too soon our time together is done and she honks the horn with complete abandon, waving her arm out the window at me as she drives away.
I smile and wave back, and I feel good. It feels right. She is an amazing woman and I’m so thankful to be rocking this with her.